My mother, Hazel Trefren, was very quiet and thoughtful much of the time. My father, the Rev. Stanley Trefren was the attention seeker. My daughter, Alicia, returned to the Pacific Northwest this week after living in the San Diego area for about 27 years. She is now living with her oldest brother, Doug, in Pasco, Washington.
Alicia has memories of a very alive grandmother. Somehow she remembers a different person than I do. I did know that my Mom had been a lively person, a flapper, before she married in 1928. I know she ditched a fiance to marry my Dad, the new student pastor in town. My daughter remembers a very fun loving lady, who loved to make her grandchildren laugh, who gave them endless love. How wonderful that she left that memory.
Since I was 7 years older than one brother, and 14 years older than the other, and was the only other female in the family that was headed by what seemed a male chauvinist, I suppose I became the only confidant she had, and therefore remember the more serious and sometimes troubled person. She was definitely the person who let me know what spirituality was all about. I am eternally grateful to her for that.
She was the model minister's wife, concerned about her husband's flock. She was active in the denomination's women's activities, becoming a local, district, conference and jurisdictional (Western States) officer. She was a dedicated person, attempting to live a Christian life. I know she was loved by the members of her spouse's parishes, and there were many. In the "good old days" Methodist Ministers moved often, and we did--in Washington, Oregon, and Idaho.
I was definitely pleased earlier this week when Alicia was remembering wonderful, happy experiences she had had with my mother. Our daughter has had more than her share of bad experiences across the border in Mexico and in San Diego. The most recent was being evacuated during the fire danger. The fire reached closer than a mile to where she lived. I am happy she has some pleasant memories of earlier years. May she have some great experiences as she turns 50 in 2008.